The Adventures of Confessions of Sivrian Saavedra (ongoing)

Drache is the present-day capital of the Kingdom of Arangoth and lies at the mouth of the River Darian, surrounded by the city docks all along the waterfront. Click here for information on the various suburbs and areas of Drache. You can also click here to view a sketched map of the city.
Pigasus
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Re: The Adventures of Confessions of Sivrian Saavedra (ongoing)

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Entry 21

Goddammit, everything is so bad, why is everything so bad, I hate being me, I hate existing, why why why, fuck fuck fuck
Pigasus
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Re: The Adventures of Confessions of Sivrian Saavedra (ongoing)

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Entry 22

Fired due to having a nervous breakdown at work. Nothing was even going wrong that day. I don't even know why I couldn't prevent it. There was nothing [23]

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[23] The text abruptly cuts off here. There are a few squiggles and random ink blots on the page, as well as a hole torn in several sheets by the stabbing, ripping motion of a quill.

It appears that this is something of a turning point where V. Saavedra realizes he's unfit to hold down a job and his efforts to find one dwindle accordingly.
Pigasus
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Re: The Adventures of Confessions of Sivrian Saavedra (ongoing)

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Entry 27

If called upon to do so, I would describe my mind as the inside of a house owned by a mad hoarder. There is so much filth and clutter, available living space has gradually shrunk to the size of a twice-folded Rumormill page.

House cleaning is out of the question, when every errant contact with the clutter produces a violent allergic reaction.

I was walking by the dockside the other day staring at the circling gulls, wishing that I, too, had wings. Then I saw the gulls swoop down and start squabbling over a piece of bread, which reminded me that everywhere is the same. [24]

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[24] Rather than trying harder to find and keep a job, V. Saavedra takes a growing number of strolls by the dockside in this segment of his life. The common unifying theme here is his desire for the horizon, escape, symbolized by sails, waves and sea birds.
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Re: The Adventures of Confessions of Sivrian Saavedra (ongoing)

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Entry 28

Once upon a time, they called me Quick Siv. These days, I'm just Cinnabar. Dirty-red shirt and all, pushed out by my gut. How do I have a gut when I eat so little? The skin on my face sags with unnecessary burdens. My eyes have two underslung bags of holding filled with phlegm and black bile. [25]

Even the clothing I have is poorly tailored. My trousers for example. Good for mobility, bad for everything else, especially finding work. Or wooing a mate. And this is Drache, where I saw with my own eyes (bags nonwithstanding) the most hideous things under Menxvan's Blue Sky find themselves an acceptable partner. Then again, being a crime against heaven itself is better than being a nobody. That's the lesson. [26]

If some demon showed up in my apartment tomorrow and offered some dubious pact, I would prick my finger for the blood oath before the fiend was halfway through his pitch. Yet, day after day, no demons come to my doorstep. Neither do opportunities. Everyone's time is better spent elsewhere.

The only demons I can count on are internal ones. 'What if,' they say, 'you were to throw yourself into those cool dark waves off that pier?' And I'll sigh and answer: 'look we've been through this. It's because the water is not actually that deep and the lot of you tend to scurry off in the face of adversity, leaving old Self Preservation Instinct with the loudest voice in the Parliament of Echoes.'

'But perhaps you can catch pneumonia,' they tantalize. 'And survive, but permanently lose my voice and be in physical pain for the rest of my life. With my luck. Come off it.'

And the inner demons grudgingly shut up, letting me pass by the pier without doing anything stupid.

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[25] The humour theory of mortal constitution is one of the dominant branches of natural philosophy, despite new strides in magical healing beginning to push this explanation increasingly out of date.

[26] It is known that Drache has a higher than usual concentration of magical creatures, including beings of power, who would be considered abominations by a number of faiths and philosophies practiced there. Several theories have been put forth as to why Drache attracts such entities - that it is a place of power; that the fate of the world expresses itself in Drache as a microcosm; and that beings of power naturally trickle together, while Drache was favored for its convenient geography and its founding by the great Blkdragon and Angelsin - two beings of great power. See Whence Cataclysm, Stygian et. al. Royal University Thaumaturgick Papers.
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