Rumor Mill 30.IX.488

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Karadhra
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Rumor Mill 30.IX.488

Post by Karadhra » Sun Sep 30, 2018 2:50 am

THE RUMOR MILL
30.IX.488


Phoebe Disturbs the Plants, then is Arrested

It was a calm peaceful day for some. For others, tragedy struck. Mayhem broke out when a pink haired female, one Phoebe Burnes decided to attempt a “BRASHEN BUMPTIOUS!” by approaching and aggravating the dangerous large plants that have been plaguing the city.

The results were horrendous. Large clouds of pollen were sent up and scattered throughout the city air. Hundreds of people either lost their lives or were majorly effected by the pollen on the plants. To make matters worse, the Burnes resisted arrest, going on to murder 11 city officials, attempting to murder almost 40 more, and wracking up a whole litany of other serious charges.

It isn’t clear if the woman was originally attempting to be heroic in some strange fashion or if she went in there intentionally to stir up trouble. Our city has certainly seen our fair share of terrorists. It could be that the pink-haired woman was the one who caused the plants to grow bigger. It certainly works with our theory for the blood-rain being linked to the large plants. Perhaps her hair is pink from performing whatever dark ritual caused this mess.

At any rate, justice has been served. Phoebe Burnes was captured by the civic guard, then executed for her aggregious crimes. It should be noted that the civilian, Welkith Quarek aided the guard in her capture.

We hope this is a lesson to anyone who would try and face the flora head-on without any thought or help. Whether she went in with the intent to stir up trouble or not, trouble happened. Don’t be an imbecile. Don’t “PHOEBE BURNES!”


It was a Graveyard Smash

And by “Graveyard Smash,” we mean that it’s possible that you smash your way into your grave. Face first. That’s right, Margrave Uzzo has posted jobs for adventurers at the adventurers’ guild. Apparently the Green Sea forest is afflicted with various types of monsters who have been messing with the goats. Maybe some people. Likely his parsnips as well. The Margrave mentioned in his posting that trained “soldiers are expensive, while adventurers are expendable.” We are sure that was a misprint and he meant adventurers are more “dependable.” Yes, that must be it. He has offered 100 crown per adventurer, as well as any treasure that might be found in the monster’s dwelling place after they have been dealt with. A means to get there and back again will be provided.

Don’t miss this opportunity! After all, death is the worst thing that could happen to you…probably.


An Evil Erection

The Honorable Drama Parkatire is offering 1,000 crown per party to those who will enter her evil late father, Erelus Raeld’s, sinister tower. Picture this scenario: You and your merry band have finally made it to your destination. From behind, you hear the trees of the forest rustle softly. In front of you is the tower. Once shrouded in the mystery of illusion, the place now stands tall and dark against a pale horizon. Vines snake their way up the imposing erection like veins. All is still as your imagination runs wild with what sort of horrors could await within. Perhaps you will meet tortured spirits, screaming in agony for their release. Or, they could simply be laughing because having one’s soul trapped and alone tends to breed insanity. You may also meet one or several lesser demons. You could become cursed from touching the haunted doorknob. Or, it is within the realm of reason that Erelus Rael is not really dead, and you meet the demon himself. The possibilities are endless, so don’t miss this great opportunity!

The job is to make sure he is actually dead as well as purge the place of any demonic material, artifacts, and research, then attempt to find out the fate of Arion Rael. Once the job is done, all goods acquired are to be brought back for thorough examination and to be catalogued.


Bucket List

Floxod Linn Arnold LeQuin was seen being escorted to the guardhouse on 2.VIII.488. They were also carrying a bucket. One must question what on Siveth this little old man could have possibly done? Are the guards to cruel to arrest an elderly gentleman? It is well known that the Floxod is a bit on the eccentric side. Perhaps he simply took the phrase “bucket list” a little too far, and made a list of things he could do with a bucket. We assume he was arrested for public indecency because he attempted to use the bucket to take a shower in the streets. A shower in the streets makes one clean in the sheets, as they say. Another alternative is that some hooligan told him to "kick the bucket, so he did." Either way,we hope the Floxod got to cross that one off his list.

The Floxod’s cheese golem also posted himself outside the guardhouse to await his maker’s release.


Explosion in Merchant District

The sound of a loud explosion range in the Merchant District. While our sources attempted to figure out the cause, they didn’t unearth much, tenants of the building it took place it, said there was a loud racket, then the explosion sound. All we could gather is that someone doubtless had a really bad day.

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